Alan Cooper, Paul Godfread Call Prenda Law's Bluff On Defamation Lawsuit

from the this-won't-go-well-for-prenda dept           http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130322/15052022422/alan-cooper-paul-godfread-respond-to-prenda-laws-defamation-lawsuit-hit-back-with-counterclaims.shtml

We were somewhat surprised by Prenda Law, John Steele and Paul Duffy choosing to sue various critics for defamation, and specifically charging Alan Cooper and Paul Godfread with defamation. Cooper, of course, was the home caretaker for some John Steele Properties who discovered that his name was somehow involved in Prenda Law's shell games with (at least) AF Holdings and Ingenuity 13. He eventually sued Prenda claiming that his identity was used without his permission. Following this, as we heard at the big Prenda hearing, Steele started leaving a bunch of voicemails for Cooper, potentially violating ethics rules about directly contacting parties on the other side in a lawsuit. Also, from the voicemails, it seemed clear that the intention was to intimidate Cooper.

As we noted at the time, it would seem that filing these lawsuits would open them all up for significant discovery, which they probably would not like very much. The Prenda and Duffy lawsuits were filed in Illinois, and as we noted, Illinois has a relatively broad anti-SLAPP law. The Steele lawsuit was filed in Florida, though it was quickly dismissed. The two Illinois cases are ongoing, and the two named people sued -- Alan Cooper and his lawyer Paul Godfread -- have now filed their answers to the lawsuit. As is required in such cases, they go through each statement in the original suit, and confirm or deny (mostly deny) the various allegations made. Specifically, they deny making the vast majority of the random comments made on various blog comment systems that the lawsuits accuse them of being a part of.

Following this, they present their defenses, which again all appear to be fairly standard. They don't believe they've done anything illegal, any statements made were true, and thus not defamatory, information about their own lawsuit against Prenda are protected by legal privilege and they argue that it is a SLAPP suit.

They also bring up a whole bunch of counterclaims, and as part of that reveal that the "intimidation" campaign wasn't just limited to Steele calling Cooper, but included Peter Hansmeier's emails with Godfread as well, with the following email revealed to the court, which really highlights Hansmeier's pure hubris.

Dear Mr. Godfread:

My firm has been retained by Livewire Holdings LLC to pursue claims in the U.S. District Court for the District of Minnesota against you and your coconspirators arising from defamation, civil conspiracy and related acts. The alleged acts occurred in e-mail communications and blog posts describing my client as a criminal enterprise. As you know, such statements constitute defamation per se and are, quite frankly, wildly inappropriate. Less-egregious claims have resulted in multi-million dollar judgments, as I trust this one will. The facts of the underlying case are essentially a law school exam hypothetical of every possible variation of libel. Perhaps you can forward my client's complaint to your former professors at William Mitchell. My client is well-aware that you are a major contributor to these blog sites.

The purpose of this e-mail is to inform you of impending litigation so that you preserve all relevant evidence in your possession including, but not limited to, communications between yourself and David Camaratto, Morgan Pietz, Nicholas Ranallo and any other individuals associated directly or indirectly with the sites fightcopyrighttrolls and dietrolldie. Further, any and all other evidence that might be relevant to this matter must, of course, be preserved.

I suspect that you aligned yourself with these defamatory efforts as a marketing strategy. I don't know if these efforts paid off, but I can assure you that making baseless accusations of criminal conduct is not a wise move for a licensed attorney. All of that being said, my client knows that you didn't work alone in these wrongful efforts. If you think we are missing out on more serious actors in your enterprise my client would be willing to consider decreasing your liability in exchange for information about these individuals. Of course, that interest will disappear if someone else comes forward first. Think it over and let me know. If you're willing to take the fall for whole group then you are decidedly a "true believer."

Welcome to the big leagues.

Paul

That sign off line is quite a piece of work, and I'm sure it will go over well in federal court, where it's likely that the judge will have a chance to learn about the case in front of Judge Otis Wright in California. Furthermore, as Ken White points out, that email is most telling for what's not in there:

...please take note of the dog that did not bark in the night. That is, note what the letter does not say. Consider the context. Godfread, on behalf of Cooper, is telling courts that Prenda Law has stolen Cooper's identity, and has filed a lawsuit on that basis. What would you expect in response, if Prenda Law had an answer for that? If I were representing Prenda Law, and had an answer, there is no doubt in my mind I would articulate it. I would say, "As you and Mr. Cooper know, and witnesses will attest, Mr. Cooper was a willing participant in AF Holdings LLC and fully consented to being an officer." Or I might say "You have recklessly and without adequate basis suggested that your client is the Alan Cooper who is an officer of AF Holdings, when even the briefest inquiry would show that AF Holdings is led by the distinguished Alan Cooper of Nevis and St. Kitts." I would say something articulating why Cooper's and Godfread's assertions are false. As I so often say, vagueness in legal threats is the hallmark of thuggery. But Hansmeier says nothing of the sort. He has only adolescent puffed-up threats and insults. What do you think that signifies?

There is one seeming oddity in the response. As we noted Illinois has a decent, though not wonderful, anti-SLAPP law. But rather than rely on that, Cooper and Godfread, instead claim Minnesota's anti-SLAPP law protect them. They're both based in Minnesota, but it's still a little odd. Minnesota's anti-SLAPP law is definitely stronger than Illinois and as White notes, provides "immunity" from such lawsuits.

More importantly, by filing a bunch of counterclaims, Duffy and Prenda cannot easily walk away from this lawsuit, which is probably not the situation that Duffy, Hansmeier, Steele and others really want to be in right now. They've been playing a bullying bluster game all along, and suddenly their bluff is getting called, repeatedly, and they seem to think that if they just keep bullying and bluffing maybe it'll work out in the end. Of course, by the time Judge Wright is done with these guys, these cases in Illinois might not even matter very much...

The 25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys

By: Ian Fortey March 18, 2008

Hedonism got way out of a hand when the internet came along and the sex toy market exploded like, well, a bukkake video. Where once it was simple shoulder massagers and turkey basters that had to be adapted to nefarious purposes, nowadays anything you can think of (and probably a few dozen things you could never think of) are out there to give some lonely shut-in the pleasure they can't get from molesting a damp slice of bread. Things like these ...

#25.

Pig Tail Butt Plug

This thing actually exists and as such, we feel soiled. And at most, 5 percent turned on, but that's pushing it.
Fun Website Quote:
"Make 'em squeal loud and hard with their new black pig tail butt plug! It doesn't get much more humiliating than this."

#24.

Area 51 Love Doll

Source.

The inflatable doll market is saturated with all manner of nearly identical, buoyant and boring rubbery women. However, every so often a visionary appears to make a new and exciting love doll, the kind that renews our passion for the loneliest, most pathetic form of self gratification known to man.
Fun Website Quote:
"Its pussy-shaped mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy."

#23.

Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack

We're not saying we know everything there is to know about sex, though we have spent a lot of time, uh, reading about it. But in none of our experience have we happened upon a case when bagging someone up like a Christmas tree on its way to the dump was a way to initiate coitus.
Fun Website Quote:
"This total body sack is so comfortable, I could spend an entire night in it."

#22.

Rubber Gates of Hell

Source.

What man isn't convinced that only the portal to the underworld itself (in this case, fabricated from rubber) can hold back his manhood? Probably quite a few men aren't convinced of that, actually. But for the rest, thankfully, the Rubber Gates of Hell penis harness was created. The exact purpose of this device was lost with its creator, Dr. Arnold Crazy-Fuck, but the thrill of rubber rings and little metal rivets on your junk lives on!
Fun Website Quote:
"Corral your stallion with these slightly stretchy rings designed to please and tease."

#21.

Baby Jesus Butt Plug

This was obviously made to be sensationalistic, probably by someone thinking a massive protest would rev up sales. Or, they were trying to make some kind of deeply personal statement about the flaws of organized religion. But either way, it's a Baby Jesus butt plug.
Fun Website Quote:
"Use him as the ultimate pacifier or make Baby Jesus the centerpiece of your magnificent Dildo Creche."

#20.

Houdini Locking Steel Cock Chastity

We're pretty certain neither Houdini nor his estate have anything to do with this. While the great escape artist was known for being able to free himself from some pretty tight squeezes, the odds are his wang didn't have its own road show where it did the same thing.
Nonetheless this product exists, apparently for the sole purpose of slapping what appears to be roughly 10 pounds of leftover steel plumbing bits to your unit, just so you can't fiddle with it.
Fun Website Quote:
"The tubular steel design makes it impossible to masturbate with this in place and the ratcheting cuff makes sure it stays put until the keymaster is in the mood to release you."

#19.

The Perfect Pair Breast Enhancers

Breast enhancement is nothing new in our world, but if you look closely at this picture using your keen detective skills, you may notice something is amiss. Indeed, these appear to be some sort of strap-on boobies for men. Because what's the fun of putting on grandma's support hose and her best Sunday dress if you don't have the jugs to match?
Fun Website Quote:
"Upright and firm, you can squeeze them and feel them--they feel real!"

#18.

The Cone

Source.

There was a scene in Billy Madison when Adam Sandler is talking to a kid when he first gets to high school and the kid says "I was a loser in denial too. Until the lacrosse team stuck a parking cone up my ass." Remember that? So did the designers of this toy. But unlike you, they thought it was an awesome idea.
Fun Website Quote:
"The funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer."

#17.

Anal Speculum

Sex toys are often sold under the guise of bringing couples together and based on experiences we've repressed from summer camp in our teen years, we feel confident saying that few things get you closer to another human than an anal speculum.
Fun Website Quote:
"Perfect for ... medical/clinic scenes for the sadistic proctologist."

#16.

Orca

Sometimes you get to the point where the standard human dong just doesn't do it for you, no matter how unrealistic the proportions. For those people, the caring deviants in the fake dong industry put their skills to work in making a dildo modeled after the junk of an orca whale.

An orca whale.
Fun Website Quote:
"it is over 15 (inches) without the base"

#15.

The Hot Seat Inflatable Cushion Vibe

Source.

Did you happen to have a Space Hopper when you were a kid? And were you hoping someone could make your childhood memories of that toy disturbed and traumatic? Today is your lucky day.
This delightful little inflatable foot stool is designed with a flat bottom, so no more falling down and breaking bones then having to call the EMTs and explain you were just dusting when you slipped and somehow got this jammed in your nether regions.
Fun Website Quote:
"... try controlling your wild, bucking passion!"

#14.

Rubber Fisting Mitten

As best we can tell, this must be some kind of boxing glove (they must call it "fisting" in Europe). But why would this be in a catalog of sex toys? And why does the "mitten" go all the way up to her shoulder-OH SHIT.
Fun Website Quote:
"Use plenty of latex safe silicone lubricant when using this and don't forget to use some to shine your fisting glove like I have here."

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#13.

Electro-Sex Glove Set

It is a scientific fact that every human being will, at one time or another, have a sexual fantasy in which they're that really weird Gremlin from Gremlins 2 that got turned into electricity and stuck in the phone lines. Guaran-damn-teed. It was for that reason that this product was made. Now, without having to involve any Mogwai at all, you too can electrocute the living shit out of yourself, your partner, the cat, the mailman, or anyone else you can chase down and grab hold of. As an added bonus, it will all be super sexy.
Fun Website Quote:
"Do not use on eyelids or broken skin. Not intended for use for those with a cardiac pacemaker or if you are pregnant."

#12.

Hotdoll

See, sex toys don't have to be all about you. They can just as easily be used to give pleasure to another, like, say, your best friend. This may or may not be stuck at the concept phase, but face it, it's probably the coolest looking dog toy you've ever seen.
Fun Website Quote:
"You can apply some female odor spray on it several times a month when your dog seems sexually hungry or nervous."

#11.

The Tongue Vibrator

Of all the products here most likely to inspire a horror movie, this has to be at the top of the list. What the hell could be scarier than a disembodied, licking tongue? You stumble into your bathroom at night, open the medicine cabinet and then this thing comes squirming out at you, just ... licking and stuff.
Fun Website Quote:
"The sweet licking motion provides endless and tireless rhythm"

#10.

OhMiBod Vibrator

The OhMiBod (we have to assume that "iCum" was already trademarked) is a way for all of us to climax along with the latest Beyonce single, and who wouldn't want that?
The should-have-been-named-iCum just buzzes and throbs along to the beat of whatever you're listening to on your iPod, which makes us wonder if you can hook it up to a video iPod and watch porn on the bus, thus making yourself the creepiest degenerate to ever walk the earth.
Fun Website Quote:
"OhMiBod is not endorsed by Apple Computer Inc."

#9.

I Rub My Duckie Massager

Inexplicably mixing an innocent children's bath tub toy with the debauched needs of a 40-something "Cathy" fan, someone came up with this cute little vibrating dildo duck.
Worse yet, it comes in a tiny travel size, for when you plan on leaving home but just don't have the space for your gigantic, novelty duck vibrator in your luggage.
Fun Website Quote:
"Just pop in the 2 AA batteries (included), flip the duckie on and utilize it till your heart's content."

#8.

Auto Suck

Because driving alone can often leave a man horribly aroused yet unfulfilled, the Auto Suck was designed to plug into any car cigarette lighter. We figure this invention is a good thing because there's probably tons of school buses out there full of kids who've never once driven past a man humping what amounts to a vacuum attachment in his car. How else will they learn about the world?
Fun Website Quote:
'do not use while driving!'

#7.

Kaylani's Foot Fetish

Being familiar with the internet as we are, we know there are people who get off on things like smoking, riding crops, vomit, amputees, slide whistles, artichokes, the elderly and yes, even feet. And while a foot fetish is one thing, this appears to be a rubber foot with a vagina heel.
Wait, what?
Fun Website Quote:
"Smaller than the real thing, this foot is ideal to keep in your drawer and take with you on those long business trips!!"

#6.

The Pleasure Periscope

One of the big complaints about sex that most people have is that they can't see four inches inside their partner's special areas. If only nature had created some manner of lighted probe to accommodate that. Where nature fails, the sex toy industry excels.
Fun Website Quote:
"The viewer window and inside light allow you to self-examine as you self-stimulate!"

#5.

Kochi the Anime Doll

Because maybe some people want to mix deviant sexuality and a full fledged nightmare together in a real world setting, this thing exists. This horrible, dead-eyed abomination with three usable holes.
Fun Website Quote:
"show her who's boss"

#4.

Dildo Gas Mask

We're not really sure about the logistics involved in this, although it does vaguely reminds us of a He-man action figure we once saw. That's kinda cool. Also, safe sex is important and if you have a habit of releasing tear gas during love making then this is right up your alley, so to speak.
Fun Website Quote:
"Can be enjoyed in so many ways!"

#3.

Stuffoscope

Sex should appeal to all the senses, which is why flavored lubes, scented oils and rawhide panties exist. But sound has often fallen by the wayside, with the average Joe left to appreciate nothing more than his own occasional grunt or the sobbing of his partner on the phone. Until now, with the invention of the Stuffoscope!
Hearing the insides of your nearest and dearest is only a humiliation away.
Fun Website Quote:
"listen to your partner's innermost secrets!"

#2.

Prince's Wand

One look at the design of this thing told us we don't want to know what it does.
Seriously, don't tell us.
Fun Website Quote:
"Here is our latest piss hole stuffer."

#1.

Mr. Jack With Mustache

Hey, remember when we said that tongue thing would be most likely to get a horror movie? We were way fucking wrong.
Near as we can figure, this was designed for people who wanted a blowjob from an incognito Guy Smiley using Burt's eyebrows as a mustache without the rest of his Muppet head getting in the way.
Whatever the case, we haven't slept for days for fear an army of these will attack us and attach themselves to our spinal cords.
Fun Website Quote:
"fits like a glove!"

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_16032_the-25-most-disturbing-sex-toys.html#ixzz2OJzR4nOj

The 5 Creepiest Unsolved Crimes Nobody Can Explain

By: Evan Kasindorf March 22, 2010

There are unsolved crimes, and then there are the kind of creepy, "What the hell could possibly be going on here" capers that keep the cops, and anyone who hears about them, up at night.
Here are the real cases that almost fall into X-Files territory:

#5.

The Taman Shud Case

The victim was found dead at 6:30 am, December 1, 1948, under a street lamp at Somerton Beach in Australia. And with that, we have exhausted everything we know about the man. It's the things we don't know that have been baffling authorities ever since. Including the meaning of the apparently uncrackable secret code he left behind.

But more on that in a moment. Things first started to lurch towards the creepy when police noticed that all his clothes' identification marks had been removed. They were eventually and painstakingly able to place a jacket to America, which was strange because his dental records and fingerprints didn't match anyone who'd ever lived there... or anywhere else in the world. It was like the guy had never existed.

Would have saved them a ton of time, and been exactly as helpful.

So the cops must have been half expecting it when the coroner returned with the cause of death: "Sudden, acute onset of damned if I know." The autopsy revealed exceptional health, a half-digested pasty in his stomach, and congestion in his brain and stomach that would have been consistent with poisoning if, you know, they'd found even a trace of poison anywhere in his body. For good measure, his spleen was three times too big.
Every breakthrough seemed to increase the mystery. They discovered a brown suitcase that had apparently belonged to the man, but that only revealed more clothes with the tags removed, and the aforementioned jacket.
The cops also discovered a secret pocket in the man's pants, which contained a scrap of paper with the words "Tamam Shud" printed on it (the words meaning "ended" or "finished").

The secret pockets in our pants are filled with Cheez-its.

The text looked like it was a scrap torn from a book. And it turned out it was; from a collection of poems called The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. And not just any Rubaiyat, but a specific translation, and an extremely rare one at that.
This was pointed out after police did an Australia-wide search as if the book was the ark of the goddamn covenant, presumably braving Indiana Jones-esque temples and solving ancient aboriginal riddles before some dude mentioned he found a copy of that exact book in the back seat of his car right around the time and location of death.
Sure enough, "Tamam Shud" was missing from the books pages. Instead of a library card with the dead man's name printed on it or something even a little bit helpful, the book contained the clue that would take the mystery from "spooky" to "officially starting to piss us off."
It Gets Weirder:
In the back of the book, the cops found this code:

Five sets of seemingly random letters, the second of which is crossed out. So, what does this code tell us? Nothing. Nothing at all. To this day it remains unsolved.

Or is it just waiting for Nicolas Cage to solve it?

Was the code the result of a disturbed mind, or chronic boredom, perhaps? Turns out, no. The most recent attempt to solve the case found the letters aren't random, just some mysterious cipher nobody was familiar with. Can you solve it? If so, you're about to be famous, considering people have been trying for more than 60 years.

#4.

The BC Feet Mystery

Feet, severed feet, usually lodged in shoes, are washing up on beaches in British Columbia.
For those of you who aren't familiar, that's a province in western Canada, north of Washington state. Now, all sorts of things wash up on shore, and it's not news that people drown or fall off of fishing boats. But how many severed feet would you have to find before you started to consider it a bit odd?

This many.

A total of eight goddamned feet have been found in the last few years, five of which have been put on a map for some reason. Strangely, almost all of the feet are in running shoes. Also, some creepy bastard stuck an animal paw into a running shoe as a hoax, after the story hit headlines.

Animals wearing shoes is unsettling enough as it is.

Out of two pairs of feet and six lone wolves, one pair has been identified--the dude's left foot having been found four months after the right. Police mentioned the man was depressed and likely killed himself. Mystery solved?

Done and done.

It Gets Weirder:
Haha, no. The first two feet were found in the same week. They were both right feet and found in different places. Some theorize the feet are from a boating accident or plane crash, but they've been found in very different places and carried by different currents.
The other theory is the one you probably immediately thought of the moment we pointed out lots of severed feet were washing up on the beach: some psychotic killer is behind it.

Psycho killer? Qu'est Que C'est?

If you're wondering why he hacks off the feet and throws them at the beach, the answer is he probably isn't. If there's a body decaying in the water, feet often rot off the relatively weak ankle. Tennis shoes float, so you wind up with free-floating feet. As for who the other feet belong to, and why they keep showing up on British Columbia beaches in running shoes, well, we probably won't know until we find the rest of the victims.

#3.

The Toynbee Tiles

These are cryptic messages found embedded in asphalt in various cities. The messages are thought to be layers of linoleum and asphalt crack-filling compound, and all tiles are found with variations of the same short message, referencing 2001: A Space Odyssey and suggesting we resurrect the dead on planet Jupiter.
Other than that, the only things setting these abnormally permanent acts of vandalism apart: They've been showing up out of nowhere, with no explanation for 30 damned years.

You can see the word "Toynbee" at the top, which is referring to a famous historian. And if you've seen 2001 you know that the planet Jupiter is involved. And... that's as much sense as we can make of it.

So, what, it's one crazy guy leaving messages. No mystery there...
It Gets Weirder:
...only it can't be just one guy.
The tiles can be found across dozens of U.S. cities, and even South America. Unless we have an independently wealthy, globetrotting lunatic on our hands, there is a group of people who plant these tiles around the Western Hemisphere like the eco-terrorists in 12 Monkeys.

Handles Franklin is the craziest Globetrotter.

The cops did have a suspect once, one James J. Morasco. However, despite an interest in Toynbee and Kubrick, his widow swore up and down he couldn't possibly be the tiler, and that he did not have an interest in Jupiter. Oh, yes, we said widow. Even if he was the tiler, he died in 2003, and the tiles have not stopped. Also, dude would've been in his 70s when he laid the tiles.
There are over 60 in Philadelphia, which seems to be the Toynbee Tile hotspot, and the location of four tiles together that told a bizarre, rambling story how the mafia, FBI and the Soviets are out to get him.

Cryptic messages left in asphalt are not the best way to prove your sanity.

Well they probably are out to get you now, buddy, if you started putting those fucking tiles on their streets.

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#2.

The Glico Morinaga Case aka the Monster With 21 Faces

In the 1980s, the Japanese food giant Ezaki Glico was blackmailed by a mysterious group of apparent super villains, calling itself the Monster with 21 faces.
It started with two armed men who broke into the home of the president of Glico, kidnapping him in front of his family. The men held the executive in a warehouse, calling the company and demanding 100 million Yen and 100 kilos of gold bullion. The victim escaped the warehouse before he could find out whether or not his company was willing to pay to ransom his ass. None of the bad guys were caught and that's too bad, because the "Monster" wasn't through.

Artist's rendition.

A couple of weeks later, several cars in the company parking lot were set on fire. Then, the "Monster" began to send letters.

"Dear Glico, How have you been? I'm fine, but this weather is crazy right? Guess that's why it's called global warming. Hahaha. We set your car on fire."

In the first letter (sent in a plastic container along with hydrochloric acid because why the hell not?) the Monster claimed they had poisoned Glico's candies, which resulted in Glico losing $21 million dollars worth of product that had to be pulled from shelves. The number may be a coincidence, but then again, who knows? The Monster taunted the police by detailing in a letter its method of entry, what typewriter it used to write the message and where it found the container with the acid in it. It didn't matter; cops scoured the country for them and came up empty.
Soon enough, just to prove they were toying with everyone, the Monster suddenly sent a letter stating its forgiveness of Glico, and moved on.

"We forgive you!"

It Gets Weirder:
The Monster then turned its attention to another food company: Morinaga. Another letter was sent, similar to the Glico one, only this time, investigations turned up a total of 21 packages laced with the highly toxic sodium cyanide. Being the polite kind of shadowy creepy terrorist/terrorist group, the boxes were helpfully labeled with "Contains Toxins," an example all criminals should follow.

Warning: Contains Bomb.

The police, getting desperate, thought they caught a glimpse of the mastermind behind the Monster during a money drop (the group had demanded cash from another company). An officer described the criminal mastermind as a man having "eyes like those of a fox," which would give him the nickname "The Fox-Eyed Man."

Clearly the man is a Bond villain waiting to happen.

The same mysterious man was spotted again later, in a car during a sting operation. He escaped, but the cops found the car, and a radio transceiver that he had been using to listen into all of the police communications during the sting.
So finally they've got a description of one of the bad guys! That resulted in... nothing. The Monster tormented several corporate giants for years, mocked the police, walked the streets as some of the most wanted men in the world and not a single one of them ever got caught. A police superintendent got so frustrated by being outmaneuvered by the Monster that he resigned in disgrace. Oh, wait, we misread that. He actually, committed suicide by fucking setting himself on fire.
Before disappearing into the night like goddamned Keyser Soze, the "Monster" released a letter mocking the dead man, and announced it would stop torturing food companies, apparently taking this entire thing as some sort of childish game. The Monster's final words to the public:
We are bad guys. That means we've got more to do other than bullying companies. It's fun to lead a bad man's life.

- Monster with 21 Faces.

P.S. See you soon.

#1.

The Lead Masks Case

In 1966, a Brazilian boy flying a kite happened upon the bodies of two engineers lying next to each other in the grass. There was no sign of how they had died before the boy stumbled across them and he claimed he found them that way. We're sure the cops took a good hard look at him to make sure he wasn't like that murderous magical kid from The Twilight Zone who could kill people with his mind.

Or the host of the Twilight Zone who could kill people with his gun.

Anyway, before long the hill was crowded with policemen, scratching their heads at an utterly baffling crime scene--if it was a crime at all. The two dead men were dressed for their funerals in fancy suits and impermeable coats. There was an empty water bottle nearby. There were no signs of violence on either of them.
Why is it called the "Lead Masks Case"? Well, that's the baffling part. The dead men wore lead masks, a type used to protect against radiation.

The two guys were identified as electronic technicians from the area.
The police gathered evidence and eventually created a reconstruction of the day of their deaths. In it, the men buy their raincoats and go to a bar to buy bottled water. Whatever the reason, one of the men appeared rather nervous, and when they left the bar they went straight to the hill the boy found them at, then spontaneously dropped dead. Case closed.

Great job everyone!

It Gets Weirder:
A notebook was found at the scene. The notes inside translate to:
16:30 be at the agreed place.

18:30 swallow capsules, after effect protect metals wait for the mask sign

Well, they swallowed "capsules," so obviously that's what killed them, right? The problem is the note seems to imply they were waiting for something to happen after the capsules took effect, which means if they were poison, the two guys didn't know they were. Also, the men had a coupon to return the water bottle when they were finished with whatever they were doing, which also seems to imply they didn't plan on dying on that hill.
Toxicology tests could not be taken due to the victims' organs not being properly preserved (they were apparently left in storage too long, but we like to think the investigators took the idea of heart volleyball and ran with it).
So, what in the hell convinced them to go out to a hill, strap on radiation protection and swallow some strange capsules? What effect were they waiting for? What were the masks protecting them from? Was there some third party who convinced them to do all of this, saying the pills would, what, make them travel back in time? Or give them super powers? Was it all part of some 60s Brazillian version of Punk'd?

How far does the rabbit hole go?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18459_the-5-creepiest-unsolved-crimes-nobody-can-explain.html#ixzz2OJxgibdN