Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You

from the a-few-good-men dept

I'll preface this post with a couple of admissions. First, I've never used a dating site, though not because I think there's anything wrong with the concept. Second, I am getting married in the next couple of days. Now that that's out of the way, it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else's dating profile for your own use.

And, if you're a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here's something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles. Gasp! And, because life is full of stories that completely lack a good guy, we learn that one such site, Ashley Madison, is doing just that, thanks to a former employee suing over the carpel tunnel syndrome she says she attained while creating all those fake profiles the unhappily married have been "corresponding" with.

Doriana Silva is seeking $20 million from Ashley Madison for what she calls the company’s “unjust enrichment” at her expense, plus another $1 million in punitive and general damages.

In her statement of claim, Silva — a Brazilian immigrant living in Toronto — says she was hired to help launch a Portuguese-language version of the site and promised a starting salary of $34,000 plus benefits. She was soon asked to create 1,000 “fake female profiles” meant to lure men to the new Brazilian Ashley Madison site — and given only three weeks to complete the work, the document alleges.

Huh, I didn't realize we were still doing the whole "typing gave me carpel tunnels" thing in this day and age. It seems like a shaky bridge to build for getting all that sweet cash, given that studies haven't provided any causal link between typing and claw-hands. And it's worth noting that this is a cash-grab, not the work of an honest whistle-blower. In other words, it may be that the inclusion of the fake profiles story was to extract a settlement from Ashley Madison. Some might suggest that perhaps Silva is lying about creating fake profiles, but since we've seen that done by more mainstream dating sites, it's easy to believe her on that front. Given the opportunity to comment or respond with a statement of defense, the company has thus far been silent.

So, remember, when you're trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you're not talking to a real human being. And if you're unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.