Quack Professor Releases Dumbest Violent Video Game Theory Ever

from the yeah,-it's-really-that-bad dept

If you have sensed an increase in the levels of air-borne stupidity in the world lately, as have I, you might be looking for the root cause of this collective mental climate change. I think I've found it. I believe it's caused by emissions of stupid generated by the debate over violent video games. Where else can you go for opinions that so blatantly ignore statistics and reason? You have retired military trumping up the next generations of "killers," despite violence and mass shootings being down in America. We have the damned Vice President of the United States showing his complete blind spot on the legality of taxing supposedly violent games. Not to mention newspaper industries that rely on the 1st Amendment to operate considering whether censorship of violent media might just be the answer to all of our problems.

But if you thought that was as bad as theories on how violent games are harmful, oh boy were you wrong. See, a South Korean professor now believes that violent games are a plague on all of us...because they make our video cards run hotter and the resulting radio waves are harmful.

Korean site Inven (via tipster Sang) reports that the professor's study apparently revealed that a game's graphics card temperature was 36°C when idling. Now, that sounds about right. The card's temperature apparently increased to 45°C during a racing game. But then, Professor Cho's study stated that when a "violent game" was played, the temperature supposedly shot up to 57°C. In turn, the game emitted more radio waves.

For those of you who aren't suffering face-palm-inducing concussion syndrome, you're probably already thinking about all the other everyday things that can cause your GPU to run hotter, such as graphic design work or, you know, watching HD movies. In fact, those activities can push the temperatures even higher. Or maybe you're thinking about how correlating how much work a GPU does to how violent a game is just might be the kind of thing that can cause a brain to commit suicide. Or maybe you're wondering if having your notebook computer on your lap every time you've played Doom has put your testicles at risk of mutation, turning them into monsterous, sentient testicilians, a race of self-reproductive hell-nuts bent on destroying the world.

Well, whatever you're thinking, calm the hell down and put your pants back on. This guy is as crackers as crackers gets.

Previously, Professor Cho has apparently published research on how drinking for three days straight will cause liver damage, how watching porn will cause unmarried men liver damage, and how smartphones cause people to have irregular voices. He sounds like a very serious researcher!

Were any of that actually true, I can assure you I'd be speaking in falsetto about my double-liver-damage instead of remarking on how crazy Professor Cho is.